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As many of you can see, I've been a pretty terrible blogger lately! What can I say...Life.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The 7 Best-Worst Movies

Every now and then, a movie comes along that makes you want to mock it and tell all your friends about it at the same time. You watch it in the confines of your own home (in a closet if you must) anything to enjoy it without ridicule from others. You love this movie, yet you know you probably shouldn’t broadcast that to the world.

Well, I’m no scaredy-cat. In fact, I’m willing to admit 7 of these egregious films with no shame, only tremendous enthusiasm.

In alphabetical order:

1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) Starring: Kristie Swanson, Donald Sutherland, and Luke Perry. The movie that started it all! Most of you (all of you if you stick around a while) will come to learn of my love for Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind some of the greatest characters and storylines of all time. It is only he who can make a wildly successful show and spin-off show 5 years after the concept was aired in a failed movie. And it is only he who can make a wildly successful movie 3 years after the concept was introduced in a cancelled television show. (It’s a BIG deal!!!) Anyway, back to the movie. Although it didn’t really jumpstart the careers of any of its actors (Kristie Swanson almost literally dropped off the face of this planet after this movie, only to appear much later on Skating with Celebrities) but it did jumpstart the careers of Whedon’s fabulous and unforgettable characters.

2) Cut Throat Island (1995) Starring: Geena Davis and Matthew Modine. I just think that Geena Davis is one of the most kick-butt women in Hollywood because of this movie. She’s gorgeous and stands tall. And Mathew Modine is just a charmer. I also love pirates so this movie dings the bell. It is action packed, has an interesting twist on treasure maps, and the sets are beautiful.
3) Ninja Assassin (2009) Starring: Rain and Naomie Harris. This was one of those movies where the mere trailer playing on the living room television makes everyone stop and watch. Then, once the trailer has ended, everyone sits in silence, waiting for someone to say whether they want to see it or not. At my apartment, I was the first to speak. I said, “I can’t wait to see that,” but everyone else thought I was joking. The next week, the trailer aired again and I repeated my desire to see the movie. By that time, with the movie debuting in theaters in less than 3 days, my roommates realized I was serious. I went to the theater with the only roommate I could convince to come and her boyfriend. We sat and watched as computer generated blood splashed in waves across the silver screen and non-stop ninja kung-fu littered the plot. It was fantastic. I loved it, my roommate loved it, and her boyfriend didn’t know what to say. (Don’t ask me to interpret “boy.” I’m no mind reader.)

4) Point Break (1991) Starring: Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Point Break is enough to make you forget that the rest of Keanu Reeves’ movie career ever existed, allowing this one robust performance to stand on its own pedestal. (Of course, I am being dramatic.) It’s really Patrick Swayze that I love in this movie; that I love in all of his movies. I hope that he found as much joy in performing as his viewers found in following his career. Also, if anyone has seen the Mythbusters where they basically bust everything about the scene where Reeves and Swayze jump out of a plane with only one parachute, you may understand my amazement at how movies can be creative enough to stretch the truth in order to make a scene work for them.

5) Starship Troopers (1997) Starring: Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards, and Neil Patrick Harris. I honestly don’t remember when or why I decided to watch this movie. With a summary like “Humans of a fascistic, militaristic future do battle with giant alien bugs in a fight for survival,” I really don’t see what compelled me. (Summary supplied by IMDB. (It’s my favorite go-to movie site.)) Any description with “bugs” in it just creeps me out. Anyway, I loved it (and not just because I gained a massive crush on Casper Van Dien). Like Cut Throat Island, there was a lot of action, a bit more gore, but also a complete plot to follow (a bit of romance, a coming of age story, bonds of friendship that are tested, all in a plausible society.) It peeked my interest at every turn.

6) Van Helsing (2004) Starring: Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale. First off, you must know that I would marry Hugh Jackman if I ever were to meet him and he were at least 10 years younger. (And, if he weren't already married.) So, before the movie came out, I knew I liked the actors and I’ve always been fascinated by the evolution of the character Van Helsing who was originally introduced in Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, “Dracula.” (P.S. Yes, Bram Stoker invented Van Helsing. He did not, however, invent vampires! Please don’t make me enter this argument for the 3rd time!) The special effects may be “rough” because of the low budget, but it’s fun. Enjoy it for what it is.

7) Wrong Turn (2003) Starring: Eliza Dushku and Desmond Harrington. Usually I do not enjoy horror flicks. I think they’re lacking horribly in a plot, choosing to base time on the number of people who have been killed instead of the rise and fall of the storyline. Don’t get me wrong, Wrong Turn still kills off its characters at appropriate intervals, but there are moments of rising tension, climax, and breaks. Also, heading back to the wonderful universe created by Joss Whedon, I enjoyed seeing Eliza Dushku play a protagonist in this movie as opposed to playing the other slayer, Faith, in the television version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Please note that although I consider Wrong Turn to be on my list of the best-worst movies, I do not consider its sequels to even be relevant to this list. They never should have been made and are the epitome of why I don’t usually enjoy horror flicks.)

Well, I have confessed to my secret list of the best-worst movies EVER! But now it is your turn.

What do you think of my list and what are your favorite best-worst movies?


  1. Okay you've cracked me up. Since I'm sicker than poo, that sucks, cuz it hurts, but it's good for the soul so you're forgiven :)

    Point Break on MythBusters. That was awesome! Almost as good as their episode on Pirates of the Caribbean. :) The funny thing is that while watching Point Break, I said "No way they could talk with all that air in their ear!" Yay me!

    Ugh, Buffy killed me, Starship Troopers makes me want to cry. Literally. I've seen it about twenty seven times in the last two weeks. Every time I turn the television on, guess what's on? Starship Troopers.

    Loved Van Helsing, but of course I'm in a fantasy world where Hugh Jackman adores me, so of course I would. :p

    My best-worst? Ugh, no idea although Sin City comes to mind. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon also pops up on the radar. Seems like it should have been a Disney movie with all the unbelievable moves, but then you'd have to argue that Matrix belonged there too, so who knows.

    I'm personally a fan of awful horror, like Killer Clowns and Lake Dead so my view on this too is to be taken with a really really big grain of salt!

  2. Oh, sorry you are not feeling well, but I'm happy to bring a smile to your face. :)

    I have never seen the Mythbusters on Pirates of the Caribbean but I can imagine that it's a goody.

    The first time I saw Sin City I really did not know what to make of it. I didn't know if I liked it, hated it, or wanted to slap Quentin Tarantino for his part in it. However, after seeing it a few times and understanding Robert Rodriguez more, I came to peace with the movie. And, anything with Clive Owen in it makes my heart turn to butter! I actually can't wait for Sin City 2. I'm sure I will see it in theaters. (That is, if it is not in 3D. I'm boycotting 3D movies!)

    I finally saw Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon when they came out with an English subbed version. That could have been a mistake. Although I thought the movie was visually very pretty, the funky moves and mismatched voices made it more comical. That's what I get for not having the patience to just read the subtitles.

  3. Thank you for boycotting "3D" movies. It doesn't really add anything of value and the glasses over my glasses are annoying.

    Point Break is a fun movie. My mother loved Swayze. Her absolute favorite movie is Dirty Dancing. The reference to this film in Hot Fuzz is interesting, too, because it forms a major plot point.

    Starship Troopers is also fun. I still remember key scenes, even though I haven't seen it in years. And looking at the cast list, I see of lot of recognizable names which I was oblivious to before. Neil Patrick Harris, especially.

    Ninja Assassin looked intriguing, but I was turned off by the reviews. Shame on me.

    I've never seen the rest of those movies. But on the subject of Geena Davis, I do enjoy A League of Their Own. I often bring it up in discussion about movies I cry to.

    I love Nacho Libre, which most people do not. I just find the dialogue to be fantastic.

    There really aren't too many "bad" movies that I am ashamed to admit to liking. I have fond memories of Three Ninjas and Sidekicks, do those count? I also like Surf Ninjas, which is perfectly awful.

  4. I LOVE 3 Ninjas. There was one year where I watched it at least once a day. That and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!

    I have not seen Nacho Libre, just because I did not know what to make of it from just the trailers, but I do like Jack Black.

    I think A League of Their Own is where I really started to like Geena Davis. I just wish she had done more movies.

  5. Apparently they made sequels to 3 Ninjas. Don't know what to make of that. If you haven't seen Sidekicks, it's essentially The Karate Kid with Mako in place of Pat Morita and features Chuck Norris. A kid idolizes Norris and often daydreams about being in movies with him. Eventually Mako takes him as a protege after being hassled by an immoral dojo and he enters a tournament, where he meets his idol.

    You should consider Nacho Libre, but expect it to be a bit far-fetched and ridiculous.

    Ever seen Earth Girls are Easy? It stars Geena Davis, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans, and Julie Brown.

  6. Yeah, I have seen the sequels and sadly they were not nearly as good as the first. (I guess that is to be expected though.

    No, I have not see Earth Girls Are Easy. Was it any good?

  7. Heh, well, it predates most of those actors' breakthrough roles. It's an odd movie, Jim and Damon portray aliens covered with neon fur (it's eventually shaved off). This may set the tone:


  8. Oh yeah, Jeff Goldblum is in it, too.

  9. I'm right with you guys on the 3-D boycott. Ugh.

    My seven are:

    "Who Am I?" - A Chinese-made Jackie Chan feature with the classic over-dubbed voices, simplistic villains, and horrible acting, but some of my favorite action/fight scenes of all time. Jackie Chan is my hero. He's humble, tough as nails, hilarious, a genius stuntman, and a kick-ass martial artist.

    "Army of Darkness" - Bruce Cambell + Medieval zombies + Chainsaw. Need I say more? "Give me some sugar, baby..."

    "Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle" They didn't even try to even make it look like they cared to obey the laws of physics in filming this movie. The stunts are absolutely ridiculous, the fight scenes are preposterous, the acting was incongruous with the level of talent, the lines were cheesy, the plot thin as tissue paper... and I loved it. I will fight you if you change the channel.

    "Operation Dumbo Drop" - Even though it's very poorly reviewed, I don't even know if this one counts as Best/Worst because I don't think it's bad - at all! Maybe I developed a blind-spot for the flaws in the movie the moment I saw them steaming up a river in Vietnam in a decrepit boat, an elephant onboard and blasting an aria on a loudspeaker. I just identify with that whole concept on a very profound level.

    "The Transporter" - Statham is just too cool. I don't care if he doesn't know how to act. I thoroughly enjoy pretty much any movie he's been in... except Crank and Crank II.

    "Bandits" - Bruce Willis is cool as ever, Billy Bob Thorton is hilarious as a neurotic hypochondriac, and Cate Blanchett is... well, I don't even have to say it. The plot is complex and interesting, the premise is funny and enjoyable. I don't know why this one doesn't measure to most people's tastes.

    "Bandits" - Nope, not a typo. This Deutsch film is rare gem. The music, the story, the acting, the cinematography is all superb. A brilliant art film that is almost completely ignored.

  10. It's good to know that I will have an army when I decide to storm the movie companies for making another 3D movie. lol.

    Patrick...Out of your list I have seen Charlie's Angels, The Transporter, and Bandits (the Bruce Wiliis version). I enjoyed them all. Plus! Bandits has a fantastic soundtrack! I bought it as soon as it became available and I still listen to it.

  11. I have such a huge list of best-worst movies. Pretty much my entire list of faves, considering they include the entire back catalogue of dance movies and 80s flicks.

    "Jumping Jack Flash" -- Whoopi Goldberg as a computer operator turned international spy.
    "Uncle Buck" -- who could forget the giant pancakes?
    "A Muppet Christmas Carol" -- despite Michael Caine being in it.

    The list goes on...


  12. Becks...Oh yeah! I love tons of the 80s and 90s dance flicks! FLASH DANCE, FOOTLOOSE, CENTER SATGE, SAVE THE LAST DANCE. All great! I too love Uncle Buck and I don't know how many times I have watched A Muppet Christmas Carol! I even like Michael Caine. Thanks for sharing!

  13. Buffy was at least fun.

    It's the boring movies that no one quite understands but thinks they should like because they're "thought provoking" that I hate. Therefore I will not be watching inception.

  14. Stumbled from STT! Fun post. I would also put "Cobra" on this list. Oh, and "Once Bitten." This could become a long list.

    Kristin :)
    Keenly Kristin

  15. Sara...I agree with you. A lot of the critically acclaimed and supposed "cerebral" movies are SOOOOOOOOOOO BORING!!!

    Although, I will say that I did LOVE Inception. It was very smart and interesting.

    Keenly Kristin...Yes, this list could just keep growing and growing! That's why I've had to add on recently!

  16. I stumbled this great article I hope you will stumble mine back.
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  17. Stumbled you from STT :) Stop on by sometime


  18. Lauren...Thanks for stumbling by. If you get the chance, please join in on the conversations. Let us know what your best-worst movies are.


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