The 7 Best-Worst Movies

Every now and then, a movie comes along that makes you want to mock it and tell all your friends about it at the same time. You watch it in the confines of your own home (in a closet if you must) anything to enjoy it without ridicule from others. You love this movie, yet you know you probably shouldn’t broadcast that to the world.

Well, I’m no scaredy-cat. In fact, I’m willing to admit 7 of these egregious films with no shame, only tremendous enthusiasm.

In alphabetical order:

1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) Starring: Kristie Swanson, Donald Sutherland, and Luke Perry. The movie that started it all! Most of you (all of you if you stick around a while) will come to learn of my love for Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind some of the greatest characters and storylines of all time. It is only he who can make a wildly successful show and spin-off show 5 years after the concept was aired in a failed movie. And it is only he who can make a wildly successful movie 3 years after the concept was introduced in a cancelled television show. (It’s a BIG deal!!!) Anyway, back to the movie. Although it didn’t really jumpstart the careers of any of its actors (Kristie Swanson almost literally dropped off the face of this planet after this movie, only to appear much later on Skating with Celebrities) but it did jumpstart the careers of Whedon’s fabulous and unforgettable characters.

2) Cut Throat Island (1995) Starring: Geena Davis and Matthew Modine. I just think that Geena Davis is one of the most kick-butt women in Hollywood because of this movie. She’s gorgeous and stands tall. And Mathew Modine is just a charmer. I also love pirates so this movie dings the bell. It is action packed, has an interesting twist on treasure maps, and the sets are beautiful.

3) Ninja Assassin (2009) Starring: Rain and Naomie Harris. This was one of those movies where the mere trailer playing on the living room television makes everyone stop and watch. Then, once the trailer has ended, everyone sits in silence, waiting for someone to say whether they want to see it or not. At my apartment, I was the first to speak. I said, “I can’t wait to see that,” but everyone else thought I was joking. The next week, the trailer aired again and I repeated my desire to see the movie. By that time, with the movie debuting in theaters in less than 3 days, my roommates realized I was serious. I went to the theater with the only roommate I could convince to come and her boyfriend. We sat and watched as computer generated blood splashed in waves across the silver screen and non-stop ninja kung-fu littered the plot. It was fantastic. I loved it, my roommate loved it, and her boyfriend didn’t know what to say. (Don’t ask me to interpret “boy.” I’m no mind reader.)

4) Point Break (1991) Starring: Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Point Break is enough to make you forget that the rest of Keanu Reeves’ movie career ever existed, allowing this one robust performance to stand on its own pedestal. (Of course, I am being dramatic.) It’s really Patrick Swayze that I love in this movie; that I love in all of his movies. I hope that he found as much joy in performing as his viewers found in following his career. Also, if anyone has seen the Mythbusters where they basically bust everything about the scene where Reeves and Swayze jump out of a plane with only one parachute, you may understand my amazement at how movies can be creative enough to stretch the truth in order to make a scene work for them.

5) Starship Troopers (1997) Starring: Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards, and Neil Patrick Harris. I honestly don’t remember when or why I decided to watch this movie. With a summary like “Humans of a fascistic, militaristic future do battle with giant alien bugs in a fight for survival,” I really don’t see what compelled me. (Summary supplied by IMDB. (It’s my favorite go-to movie site.)) Any description with “bugs” in it just creeps me out. Anyway, I loved it (and not just because I gained a massive crush on Casper Van Dien). Like Cut Throat Island, there was a lot of action, a bit more gore, but also a complete plot to follow (a bit of romance, a coming of age story, bonds of friendship that are tested, all in a plausible society.) It peeked my interest at every turn.

6) Van Helsing (2004) Starring: Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale. First off, you must know that I would marry Hugh Jackman if I ever were to meet him and he were at least 10 years younger. (And, if he weren't already married.) So, before the movie came out, I knew I liked the actors and I’ve always been fascinated by the evolution of the character Van Helsing who was originally introduced in Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, “Dracula.” (P.S. Yes, Bram Stoker invented Van Helsing. He did not, however, invent vampires! Please don’t make me enter this argument for the 3^rd time!) The special effects may be “rough” because of the low budget, but it’s fun. Enjoy it for what it is.

7) Wrong Turn (2003) Starring: Eliza Dushku and Desmond Harrington. Usually I do not enjoy horror flicks. I think they’re lacking horribly in a plot, choosing to base time on the number of people who have been killed instead of the rise and fall of the storyline. Don’t get me wrong, Wrong Turn still kills off its characters at appropriate intervals, but there are moments of rising tension, climax, and breaks. Also, heading back to the wonderful universe created by Joss Whedon, I enjoyed seeing Eliza Dushku play a protagonist in this movie as opposed to playing the other slayer, Faith, in the television version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Please note that although I consider Wrong Turn to be on my list of the best-worst movies, I do not consider its sequels to even be relevant to this list. They never should have been made and are the epitome of why I don’t usually enjoy horror flicks.)

Well, I have confessed to my secret list of the best-worst movies EVER! But now it is your turn.

What do you think of my list and what are your favorite best-worst movies?