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As many of you can see, I've been a pretty terrible blogger lately! What can I say...Life.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

10 Ways to Identify a Writer

I've always liked creating my own lists, but surprisingly I have never made one about writers. Well, here's my shot at it and a funny cartoon for your entertainment...

1.      They are control freaks. It comes from being able to decide what every one of their characters is going to say, do, and react to certain situations. They may often feel god-like in their attempts to torture and surprise their characters.

2.      They don’t work as fast as God. God created the world in seven days. It takes a writer weeks, months, years, or eternity to create a world.

3.      They know their main character better than they know themselves.

4.      They bring up topics such as grammar, syntax, and diction at “inappropriate” times and they sincerely believe that they can make other people interested.

5.      Their idea of working is staring at a blank page, the ceiling, or out a window for hours.

6.      They can identify a cliché and dead metaphor without thinking twice. It’s as easy as pie, or 123 and ABC. It’s like riding a bike, falling off a log, like a knife through hot butter, like shooting ducks in a pond, fish in a barrel, a no brainer, piece of cake, child’s play, a slam dunk. You get the picture.

7.      They need no training to do their job. It is an innate gift from the heavens above and the hells below.

8.      When they hear voices in their head, they listen and say things back. But they’re not like crazy people or anything.

9.      When they feel incapable of performing, it is not because they have run out of ideas or simply don’t know what to do next. Instead, a giant, evil, monster of a block has placed itself between the writer and their story (metaphorically speaking, of course). This block is a plague, sucking the creative energy from these angelic people. It is a demonic mutant, choking the like from the writer’s fingers, preventing them from penning or typing a single word.

10.  They are also melodramatic.


  1. Hi AubrieAnne! What a fascinating blog! I love it! I've always had this secret desire to write! I love, love, love to read books and watch movies! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such wonderful comments!

    Wishing you a beautiful day! xoxox


  2. Very amusing, i enjoyed reading it; as long as we share the understanding that there is only one real writer and everybody else is just masturbating.

  3. Atypical Scott...Yes, that is one of my favorite ones. It was inspired by a particular writing quote. I'm pretty sure it's in my next post.

    ArtsyCanvasGirl...Thank you. Well, if you ahve a blog then you are writing! Hopefully, it has allowed you to fulfill a part of that secret desire. I often post book reviews and some posts on movies (because I LOVE movies) so hopefully they will be of interest. Plus, I followed your blog so i will stay caught up. :)

    Matt...I think I have a little piece of all of these in me. Of course, in a very sardonic kind of way.

    Kari...I was not aware of that. lol

  4. Most of the time my main characters aren't really developed beforehand. They congeal as the story flows along.

  5. I develope mine beofrehand, but they do morph as the story moves along. I think that makes them human. I feel that people decide who they want to be, but that doesn't mean they don't change as they go along. You know?

  6. I feel ya. The way I write a story, I only have vague ideas in mind, and then I put fingers to keyboard and start from the beginning and the story develops as I go along. There is very little thought of beforehand.

  7. I think I do my best writing when it's spontaneous.

  8. I'm so not saying anything. That's an amendment so I can do that right? >.>

  9. Haha love the list!! I laughed when I read....
    8. When they hear voices in their head, they listen and say things back. But they’re not like crazy people or anything.

    That's me... sadly.. I confess :)


  10. Yeah, I know how you feel. It's sometimes hard to admit how looney we all are. :)

  11. Oh! I love the cartoon and I am now thinking if I fit in one of the 10. I'm writing from my heart and enjoying it. I love your blog and will be coming back to learn more. Thanks!

  12. Suertemom...Thanks for joining in. I'm happy you enjoyed my list. Come by anytime!

  13. I like that! That's me tonight... all night.

    Following you now! You can find me at:


  14. I love your list! I also had a lot of fun reading your comments on my blog :) I'll admit I'm horrible at following blogs, but I do try to visit any time someone comments on mine :)

    Ruthie @ ajedismusing.blogspot.com

  15. Janet...It's awesome to have you following. I'll see you around her and on your own blog.

    Rose...Thanx! I REALLY LOVED your blog so it wasn't hard to enjoy myself and leave some nice comments. I'll certainly be around there often and hopefully I will see you here as well. :)

  16. Apart from number one (I'm way to lazy to be a control freak) I thoroughly recognised myself. Is that bad? Another great blog post - ;)

  17. Haha! That's what I thought! I'm like "I am seriously this person!!!" So, no, it's not bad...maybe. lol.

  18. Love it! You had me laughing with this one! Glad I scrolled down and found this! :)

  19. I'm glad you scrolled down too and found this. I always try and leave 10 days worth of posts on the home page in case people decide to explore. Plus, this has been one of my favorite posts so far.

  20. Love the list! It describes me to a 't'. I had to go to the grocery store and wasn't sure the clerk understood a word I was saying. Why do I even leave my home? lol

    Thank you for linking up to my blog hop. It has been really great getting to know you.

  21. Lynda...I'm very pleased you loved the list ans was able to relate. That's why I thought it would be a fabulous addition to your wonderful blog hop! People just seem to have enjoyed this post. :) It's been lovely getting to know you as well!


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