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As many of you can see, I've been a pretty terrible blogger lately! What can I say...Life.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My Second Novel, "Unclaimed Darkness."

Today, I decided to give everyone a little taste of my second novel, "Unclaimed Darkness." I would have given you a taste of my first novel if only I weren't rewriting it in a completely different setting, while seething at the fact that I feel like all I do is revise, revise, revise! (I have got to stop doing that!)

Anyway, without any further rants or pauses, here is the prologue...

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
-Terry Pratchett 

"Unclaimed Darkness"
Prologue: First Encounter

Chicago, 2020

In the middle of the night, a man fell from the evening sky. It was the last thing I expected while patrolling the desolate southern alleyway. The passage was created by two towering buildings that had been in ruins for over a year. Yet, this young man who landed, crouched at my feet, did not jump from a window or open a door. His descent was straight, as though he had appeared above me from thin air.
Fumbling for the gun strapped behind my waist, I took aim. The young man lifted himself from the ground and brushed the dirt from his knees. He then looked up, exposing two stunningly blue eyes that bore into my plain brown ones.
For a moment time slowed. I could feel a slight wind weaving through the strands of my long, dark brown hair and a coolness rush along my slender spine and calloused knuckles. Every muscle in my arms and legs tensed and my eyes narrowed to slits, preparing for a clash.
Time returned to normal as I waited for him to do something, pull his own gun or a knife. Maybe he would even say something, but, instead, he simply stood there and held eye contact. “I will shoot you!” My pulse was racing, but whether it was because I feared for myself or for the young man, I did not know.
I had killed once in my life and vowed I would never take another human life unless under the most extreme circumstances. I hoped this would not come to that. I had faced off against many stragglers in the last couple years. Luckily, most were too afraid to face a woman with a gun pointed at their chest and those who dared usually ended up with a hole through their leg or shoulder. I was a good shot, but killing was always a last resort. I learned that the hard way.
“No, you won’t,” he replied, with a slight smile. His change in expression unnerved me. Was he asking for a death wish?
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t.”
“Because I wouldn’t care if you did.” Then, he turned to walk away. His answer sent me into a state of perplexity. Even my heart stopped its infernal beating. I managed to find my voice, but it was shaky.
“And if I don’t?” I asked.
He turned to look at me once again and replied, “That’s your choice.” I began contemplating the two fates the young man had laid out before me. I could have allowed this man his life and forever wondered whether or not the strange circumstances of our first encounter would come back to bite me or I could have shot him, forever marking him as my second kill. Deciding that wondering about someone was far better than murdering them, I lowered my gun. The young man flashed another slight smile. “I guess that means I’ll be seeing you around.” With that said he continued on his way to the very depths of the city and faded into darkness.

(End Prologue)

I hope I raised a few eyebrows. If you wish to read a bit more, I have the prologue and the first four chapter up here on the lovely WEbook.com...

I also hope to share more of my own work with everyone in the future. Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps!


  1. Oh nice!! I am going to Webook now! XD You write really really well Aubrie. Loved it!!!

  2. That certainly pulled me in, peeked my interest. So as a prologue it did a great job! Well done. I'm going to re-read my first twelve chapters of my first novel in a few weeks to spring-board me into finishing it. Its been way too long since I really got into it. All I've been doing is revising it. It's changed so much since I begun. I totally know what you mean about that. It almost becomes obsessive. I need to stop revising and charge on with the writing. Great start here Aubie, though I'm not surprised. Shah. X

  3. I see you've made some changes since workshop. The opening lines are still a tad confusing, but better than previously.

    "Was he asking for a death wish?" seems like an awkward line, since asking for a wish is unnecessary, as the person would simply state the wish. So maybe "Did he have a death wish?" would be more sufficient.

    Have you been revising this story much?

  4. How exciting that you are writing a book! I enjoyed what I have read so far:) Will be checking out the other 4 chapter after school today:) I have always wanted to write a book but I don't have time to add one more thing to my day:) Thanks for linking up to the NOBH

  5. Dawn...thank you and have fun on WEbook! If you check out more of my story, let me know what you thought here or there :)

    Shah...thank you. Yeah, revisions. Can't live with them, can't live without them. It really can be a trap sometimes though. I'm trying to get out of it and MOVE ON! lol. It's very hard though.

    Matt...Yes, just a few. I'm trying not to revise on this story. It just has to move forward. I do have a few questions though. You have mentioned the opening lines being confusing before, but I never knew why. TO me, they make perfect sense, but that could be because I wrote them. Please, fill me in. I don't want my readers to be confused unless that is my intention.

    Also, I feel that a death wish isn't really a wish, more a drive to destroy oneself (like Frued explained in his theory of "death drive.") so I feel you can ask for it. Like you can't do it yourself so you ask someone else to do it, figuring it is better that way. I don't know. It just feels non conscquential, but perhaps that is a reason to change it and not fight with anyone over the phrasing.

    As to your question, no I have not been revising much, but I haven't been writing much either :( Hence the reluctance to change much. With my first story I just fraked myelf by revising too much that I have lost some of my original intention and that's a frustrating thing. So, I am trying to find "new" original intentions. If that makes any sense. I just don't want this to happen to Unclaimmed Darkness.

    The Adventurer...Yes, it is exciting and something I have both enjoyed and loathed at the same time :). But how can you make a good book if you don't fight with it to be the best? That's my theory at least. Anyway, thank you for the interest. I look forward to sharing more sometime. Also, if you do make it around to reading more, please let me know what you thought.

  6. Very well done. I am a sucker for suspense.



  7. Re-reading it, I suppose the opening line is more logical, especially since the title was changed from "Invasions."

    While your reasoning for writing the line "asking for a death wish" are sound, the line still sounds awkward. It is not a phrasing people would typically be keen to use. While the final decision is ultimately yours, it is a worthwhile consideration, I think.

    So you don't want for this story to turn out like your period piece. I suppose that's fine. While waiting to revise until a story is complete might sound like a good idea in theory, you could, in reality, finish the entire draft, go back to revise it, and decide that you want to change the entire thing, which would wind up being very time consuming and would seem as though you had wasted your time writing the whole thing. Revising as you go along would not only save you time, but help you to postulate your ideas more as you come to them.

    Novel writing is quite burdensome as opposed to short prose.

  8. I don't mean to discourage or criticize how you write, sorry. D:

  9. Amazing! A lot of people wish to have a talent like that.
    I am going to read the first four chapters - I'll tell you what I think after I have finished.

  10. Clayton...Thank you very much.

    Matt...I don't remember calling it invasions. I thought it was the chapter title "First encounters" and everyone thought Encounters in the supernatural sense. I don't remember. Either way, I am happy it is "fixed." Thanks for your tips and suggestions. They are helpful.

    I am talking more about the little revisions, like the phrasing of one sentence or the use of one word or another. Not anything that would alter the storyline in future chapters. Yes, it would be silly to write the whole thing and then go back to make revisions that force me to rewrite the whole thing.

    I've only wanted to change very small things about "Unclaimed Darkness" but MASSIVE things on my other novel I have been changing. That's why I am doing revisions on that now and not saving it for later.

    Also, no need to apologize. I am always open to suggestions, but I like to ask questions too.

    dtwilight...Very cool! I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

  11. That's right, I knew it had something to do with aliens.

    Well, you've got it in the bag, I'm sure. Good luck with it.

  12. Fabulous story line, loving it so far - dtwilight has read three chapters out loud to me and we're really into it. I'm sure she'll give you her full opinion later :) (Every now and again she stops and say, "Oh, what a fantastic writer!" And I just respond with "Some are just born that way!" Brilliant, as always.

  13. Miss Aubrie, you are one excellent writer! I couldn't stop reading it.
    It was long, but it was excellent!
    I love Chapter four - especially the ending.
    Moana is right, I kept on saying "Oh, what a fantastic writer!" and she said "Some are just born that way!"
    Keep on writing!

  14. AA: You raised my eyebrows. Good job. No author is ever happy with his or her own work. We suffer from revise, revise, revise disease. Eventually, to be an author, one must write something to completion. You are certainly an author - and a good one!

  15. I like it! Very itriquing. I'll have to read the rest when I'm feeling better (darn colds!).

    As for your question about the Abhorsen books, my book review was simplistic (I wrote it awhile ago and I'm catching up with myself right now!) but the book is really good. They are young adult (I think) but extremely well written. :)

  16. Matt...Thanks. I'm going to try and keep it together. I start a new creative writing class next week so maybe it will help! I'm SOOOO excited! I haven't been in a CW class for over a year and a half now.

    Moana...Oh, you guys are so sweet and I am happy it is something you guys were able to share. Thank you so much!

    dtwilight...You are just the biggest sweetheart ever! You and your mom are so cute and I love you both! Thank you!

    JJ...That is quite the compliment and I accept it whole heartedly! You are right when you say that all authors write things that they aren't always happy about, but I think they feel better when they know others are enjoying it. :) Thank you!

    Rose...Thank you and also thanks for getting back to me about Abhorsen, I will have to consider them again. I am pretty sure I have read something else by Nix. I just can't remember what. It was a long time ago.

  17. Interesting. Is that at a community college? Lemme know how it progresses?

  18. Matt...Yes, it is at my community college. This is my last semester.

  19. awesome!!! and good luck!!

    I am your newest follower, please follow me back

  20. Interesting prologue!! I love the tall buildings in ruin. I live in the Chi so now I'm going to wander around and contemplate which two would be ruinious in 9 years. :)

    Following you now, I like your writing style!

    Have an Extraordinary Day!

  21. InspiredDreamer...Awesome! Then I know just the person to go to when I need to remember somethign specific about Chicago! Thanks for the comment.

    The buildings are ruined because of war. I get into that in the first chapter. :) I know the buildings would not fall apart on their own so quickly (at least I hope so!)

  22. Ready for more! Niiice, Susette

    Happy New Year!

  23. Susette...I am hoping to write more soon. That is if school doesn't take over my life!!!

  24. AubrieAnne, this is fantastic! You definitely have me intrigued! :)

  25. Sofia...Thank you so much! I'm happy that you liked it.


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